or those of you who don’t know, I have a rare genetic condition that is slowly destroying both of my retinas. At the end of my road is blindness. I am not saying this to complain, garner sympathy, or to prove that my problem is any more significant than anyone else’s. It is simply fact. Another fact is that while I can not control the biological dysfunction that is stealing my sight, I can control how I face this burden. The frustration accompanying the shrinking world my disability represents can be overwhelming to say the least. It is a constant struggle to stay on the positive side of my situation, but it has proven again and again to be well worth the effort.
When I allow myself to sink into self pity I find it difficult to appreciate the world around me. This is something I have seen in many patients facing chronic pain/illness, or change of life issues like stroke or a car accident resulting in new (often severe) limitations. What we fail to see is the dichotomous logic of our new situation: continue to experience life as it is now available to us, or don’t. This may sound like a harsh statement coming from a therapist, but it is meant to be motivating. There are very few situations that remove all ability to choose. For the rest, it is our responsibility to take ownership of our actions and reactions. You don’t have to live in denial of your situation, but you can deny it the power to control your life.
Will I get to see the love in my wife’s eyes as we celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary? No. Will I get to see the joy in my daughters’ faces as I walk them down the aisle? No. Will I get to enjoy these events and many more along the way with a happy heart full of gratitude for my life’s blessings? That’s up to me.
Recommended reading: Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning