“The ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones that do.”
– Steve Jobs
Think about the term tween. It means not quite a child, not quite a teen. The very name implies confusion about their place in society. If we don’t even know where they fit in what must they be thinking? Undoubtedly, being a preteen brings with it a host of concerns to consider. Here are the most relevant issues facing tweens today:
Issues Facing Tweens:
Puberty
Puberty is starting much earlier than it did a couple of generations ago. That means that today’s preteens are experiencing the same type of bodily changes that adolescents dealt with 30 years ago, just a bit sooner. Largely because of puberty, we tend to think of teenagers as an emotional mixture of hormones and angst. But it is now tweens that have to cope with the beginning of puberty at an age where they are even less emotionally equipped to cope with it than teenagers. Welcome to tweenhood, the new adolescence.
With puberty, preteens also have to deal with the onset of romantic feelings. Do you remember that first crush? Romance can be obsessive and heartbreaking all at once. Now think about how you would handle it if you were only 11 years old.
Relationship Issues (Drama)
Speaking of relationships, they now become integral to the life of a tween. Children start to pull away from their parents and prioritize their friendships over family. Seemingly for the first time, preteens have to cope with issues like insecurity, belonging, and peer pressure. Don’t underestimate the challenges here, social interactions between tweens can be downright cruel. Before your child became a tween they had friends. Now they also have drama. These are real issues facing tweens .
Transitions
The preteen years are filled with transitions. Entering middle school is a far cry from the hand holding of elementary education. Middle school, in fact, looks a lot like high school these days. Students switch classes for every subject and they are given an increasing choice of electives and after school activities. It can be a tough transition for the 6th grader that is used to less independence and more support. Going to a new school also means new friends. While tweens may maintain some of their old friendships, they are likely to meet a whole bunch of new people in middle school. They probably felt pretty safe with their old friend group. However, new friends mean both excitement and uncertainty.
Phones and Social Media
Every family has different rules about phones and social media use. For many, though, the preteen years are when parents first allow their children to get a cell phone and have their own social media accounts. The problem is that many tweens are not mature enough to use them responsibly. The internet is full of inappropriate content, predatory behavior, and bullying. For parents, it will be a constant struggle between setting limits, providing proper supervision and allowing a tween the freedom to make their own mistakes. No matter what, you can count on them wanting to be on their phone 24/7. It will be up to you to help them strike a healthy balance.
Independence in the Age of Coronavirus
If tweens are the new teens, it is not surprising to find them wanting to be increasingly independent. Parents may struggle, however, with how much responsibility a preteen can shoulder. In the age of COVID-19, autonomy is even harder to achieve. Children are spending more time at home with their parents, some restricted from school and other activities they used to do with friends. Even with an effective vaccine, parents may be warier of giving their kids the freedom they seek. Many are overprotective, fearful their child may engage in behavior that could compromise their, or their family’s, health. This type of parenting has long-reaching consequences.
If tweens are not given the opportunities to be independent, then they will be prevented from becoming self-sufficient adolescents and adults. Parents, as always, are caught in a tough position. They must somehow weigh their family’s safety versus stifling their child’s needs for independence. Being a tween today presents numerous challenges. They have to deal with early puberty, smartphones, and coronavirus to name a few. With all that is going on, your preteen must have the proper support.
More information about children and the “Coronavirus Pandemic Fatigue”. It’s a real thing and something we as parents should be aware of.
With the issues facing tweens today, sometimes they just need someone to talk with about their feelings. Here are a few resources if you think your tween would benefit from talking with a therapist.
