“A person’s a person, no matter how small”- Dr. Seuss
A child’s mind is full of innocence, discovery, and, oftentimes, confusion. With all the stress in the world, a child frequently doesn’t have the coping skills to deal with life’s problems. Consequently, they may be harboring troubling thoughts and feelings.
As a parent, you may feel like something is wrong but not know exactly what is going on. Maybe you notice a change in their behavior or you just have a gut feeling. If you feel like something significant is bothering your child it is probably best to explore it.
That does not mean that your child is going to open up to you. Children frequently don’t express themselves by talking. Instead, they may exhibit negative behavior or stuff their feelings deep inside. It can be extremely frustrating when your child won’t let you in on their inner thoughts. Parents want to solve all their children’s problems. Regrettably, that is not always possible.
The truth is that parenting is hard. No parent has all the answers and sometimes you will need a little help. That does not make you a bad parent. Just the opposite. You are trying to do what is best for your child. Seeking professional help is evidence of just how much you truly care for their wellbeing.
Child therapists have a certain advantage over parents. First, they carry objectivity that a parent can never have. That perspective enables them to look at a situation realistically and come to an accurate assessment. Second, they are trained in how to best help kids communicate their thoughts and feelings. They will use creative ways to help your child express their issues and work toward resolving them. Finally, they are an outsider. They are not mixed up in family dynamics and emotions. Your child has the understanding that their therapist is there to help them and is not just another authority figure. This is why therapy frequently works when other interventions fail. A child recognizes that therapy is a safe, non-judgmental place to work on their problems.
You may worry that you will be left out of the therapeutic process. Don’t be. Effective child therapy is a collaboration between counselor, parent, and child. The therapist realizes that you are the most important person in your child’s life. In fact, don’t be surprised if the counselor sometimes wants to speak with you. They will want your input and can offer assistance in finding the best way to help you interact with your son or daughter. A therapist will assist you in overcoming obstacles in communication and employing the most appropriate intervention. In short, they will help you to become a better parent.
Okay, that all sounds great. But does counseling work? Research consistently shows us that therapy has positive outcomes. That does not mean that every session is going to end with a moment of supreme enlightenment but, more often than not, your child will reach their goals.
When I was training to be a therapist, I asked my supervisor if he ever thought that counseling could be counterproductive. He told me that—no matter what—the client always learns something valuable about themselves in therapy. So, why should you bring your child to counseling? As the great Dr. Seuss said, “Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, So… get on your way!”
